Family Dinner

     The Bible says we should confess our faults one to another, and that is just what I'm going to do.  I absolutely hate having to do family dinners!  I hated them when I was a kid; I felt like a mouse in a trap.  It was a miserable experience; don't do this, don't do that, do this, stop talking, etc.  Not something I wanted to partake in at all.  So, as soon as I was able, I escaped the torture, and avoided the trap ever since.
   
     Recently God has been dealing in my heart, and my husband has been strongly communicating, that we need to do family dinners.  Experts say that it is a very important aspect of a child's day, one that should be remembered as a fun time where the whole family shares and communicates and enjoys the fellowship.  Um, excuse me, fun?????? Dinner???  That is an oxymoron, kind of like a speedy turtle.  And we have tried over the years, believe me.  We all cram around the table, sit down, and there is this false sense of peace for the first 60 seconds, and then all heck breaks loose, because the kids are fighting to speak, twisting around until drinks spill, getting totally carried away with the stories they're telling while food sits untouched, and my head is pounding so bad, and my input consists only of  "Chew with your mouth closed." , "Sit down." , "Be careful, watch your drink!" and so on.  By the time its done, nobody is enjoying anything, some of the kids are crying, I'm so stressed I don't even want to eat anymore,and everyone can't wait to get away from the table.  So, my solution has been to just avoid eating with the family.  I generally skip dinner, and do work in my office, print schoolwork, or some such thing that gives me a good reason to not be with the family during that time.

     This last weekend, at our marriage conference, during one of the times parenting was being discussed, they asked us to allow God to speak to us about one thing that He would want us to change when we go home.  Compliant, I closed my eyes, asked God to show me anything He wants changed because, of course, I want to do things His way.  What do you think immediately came to my mind?  That's right, family dinner.  My heart sank in that instant, "God, I don't know how to do that!  I've tried and failed, over and over."  I realized that I had made a vow, so to speak, to never get trapped in a family dinner, and that I was letting my own issues keep me from making good memories with our kids.  I was also really hurting my husband, because it is a very important thing to him, that we eat all together.  I confessed that to God, asked Him to help me let go of my hatred for eating together, and to please give me grace to begin having good dinner time with the family.

     We have eaten dinner together this week.  We've begun playing a "High-Low" game at dinner - everyone takes a turn stating their high for the day, followed by the low of the day for them.  It gives us things to talk about, hearing what everyone is dealing with that day, and gives an opportunity to know if something bad happened,or is being felt, that we need to deal with.  The kids are absolutely loving that we are all sitting together and enjoying time together.  I still am correcting about manners, but it is in my heart to do it kindly and not allow that to make dinner be stressful and torturous.  My hubby is so thrilled that we're doing this, too.  Funny how something that seemed so small to me could make such a difference.