Play, Laugh, Fun!

     It is easy to get so focused on the things that need to get done and forget to enjoy the little moments with the ones I'm doing everything for.  As a mom with a houseful of kids there is constantly something I could be doing, and it probably needs to be done.  However, I find that when I try to keep up every minute on what I "have" to do, I am grouchier towards the kids, and end up hurting relationship.
     Sometimes I just need to let the dishes and laundry and vacuuming wait so that I can just be here with the kids, for the kids.  They need to talk, play, show off for me, and have my total attention while they are just being kids.  They don't need me to be teaching, instructing, demonstrating, or correcting every second of the day.  Do they need those things?  Absolutely!  They also need to be enjoyed!  I forget to enjoy them too many times, I'm afraid.
     It doesn't have to be an entire day of that, or even a 2 hour stretch of time.  We do things like, tell our 5 year old, "Ok, ready?  It is your turn to talk about anything you want - tell us everything you want to talk about."  And then, we just let her talk until she runs out. The funny thing is, she has a hard time thinking of what she wants to say sometimes, but, it doesn't take long for her to think of something, and then the words just tumble out like ice from an ice maker.  Another thing I have done with my kids since my oldest was a baby : I sit on the floor to let them run, play, climb on me, etc.   When I get down on the floor, my kids take that as their cue to flock around me.  Then, I will pick them up and pretend to throw them or something like that(unless they're too big, like my 8 yr old, who I just push or tickle or something)... then they all go away from me, and take turns running to me one at a time so I can throw them or tickle them, and hug them now and then.   It doesn't expend a ton of my energy, but it does theirs, and they are just having so much fun, and feeling so loved at the same time.   We have to set boundaries before we start, so they know if I say "Freeze" they are to stop right where they are while I deal with a problem that arose or stopped someone from being hurt, etc.  If they don't respect the boundaries, then the game is over, but they enjoy it so much that they usually respect the boundaries.
     Discipline, schooling, manners, character building, chores (the list could go on and on of the things that are necessary in raising children) are all very important things.  However, so is love and play and fun!  Kids need both things from their parents, not only the serious stuff.  I know some of the serious stuff, most of it, is also love.  It's just easier for them to feel loved and enjoyed and that the serious stuff is for them when they are getting playtime and silly time, and fun, with us too.

Potty Training

     Potty training is one of my favorite stages as a mom, when it goes smoothly.  My second youngest will be 3 in June, and he has finally decided that its time to train.  So, the peeing thing is not so bad, other than the fact that he wants to "go pee" every 5 minutes all day long.  haha   I bought him gummy bears and gummy worms as a reward when he goes in the toilet.  There has been one successful "poo poo" in the toilet, and several "pee pee".   So, while I get tired of standing there all the times that nothing happens, I sure get excited for him when he makes it happen.  He jumps up and down, excited, runs out to inform everyone of his accomplishments, and then waits for his candy treat.   The other kids begin to smile and gather around him, telling him what a good job he's doing.  It's really sweet.  

     I don't claim to be the best at this, because in my mind, kids should be potty trained right around 2, not close to 3, which is when mine seem to train.  I don't have a ton of patience to put them on a potty chair and make them stay there when they want to get up every 2 seconds and run around - and then, of course, they end up peeing on the floor or couch, etc.  I want a potty chair like they had when my mother was training her children : one with a tray!  Put the kid in it, turn on the t..v to a favorite show, and let them relax enough to do their business.  However, the geniuses of the world today don't seem to think trays are necessary.  I, the mom who has little ones running around my house peeing in the wrong place, do think they are necessary!

     It's funny, too, the way that toddlers have no sense of modesty or embarrassment about their nakedness, or their bathroom habits.  It is the way God intended things to be - no need of shame or embarrassment.  It's something they can do that garnishes praise.  It's the only time that they'll be praised for this accomplishment, too. I mean, once we get past this stage, where they're completely trained, nobody is going to turn to a 10 year old and say "Good job,  you went pee pee!" haha  It just becomes part of daily life - a necessity.   The same could be said for us spiritually.  When we're young Christians, we need to be encouraged, trained to do the things that are to become a necessity to daily life - prayer, reading the Word, worship, going to church, etc.  Why then, do some of us (who should be mature) feel the need to be praised every time we open the Bible outside of church?  Somewhere along the way, we stopped maturing, lost focus on the relationship with Jesus, and made it more important to be noticed by people around us.   Just a thought that occurred to me, thought I'd pass it on. :)

Lies, Lies Everywhere

     My four year old has decided she is allergic ... to truth.  No kidding, she lies about the most mundane things, and the big things, too.  She also has a stubborn streak, and refuses to tell the truth even once she's caught in the lie.  Ok, so I had run the bath water, filled the tub with bubbles and toys, and instructed them not to lay down this time because we weren't washing hair that night.  I left the door cracked open and went into the next room while they played.  This is the conversation I hear after about 10 minutes :
T : Lay down like this!
S : Mama said not to.
T : Do it this way.
At this point, I sneak over and look into the room to find that they are both laying down in the water with wet hair.  I made my presence known, and I say to T, "Why did you tell your sister to lay in the water?"
T:  I didn't.
Me : Yes, you did. I heard you.
T : I didn't, Mama! I promise!
Me : T, that is not the truth. I know you told her to do it because I could hear you talking to her, and you said 'Lay down'.
T,now crying : Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaa, I didn't!

     Instantly, frustration and stress begin to take over.  Why in the world would she lie about it when she knows I heard her?  We repeat this scenario over and over on a daily basis; the only difference is the subject matter.

     I have prayed and sought God on this matter, because I am at my wit's end.  In myself, I have nothing left to deal with the lying, but I know that God has a solution.  Each child is different, so there is no pat answer on how to deal with the issue.  One thing I can say, though, is consistency matters.  The Bible says that God will give wisdom to anyone who lacks, and asks God to impart it.   That is a promise, conditional only on asking.  So, all we can do is ask God, and then trust that He is giving us answers, and act on them, consistently.  Only that will bring about the change that we need, and want, to see in our kids.  Consistent, loving discipline is the key.

   

Let the Battle Begin

    Stare down!  Remie, my 16 month old, fixed his big, blue eyes on mine and the stare down ensued!  He held the animal cracker up by his head, arm cocked, ready to throw again.  "No, no." A glint of mischief shimmered through his baby blues, and you could almost hear the thoughts turning through his mind.  Then, the cracker flew through the air, and he giggled.  As tempting as it was to smile, because, let's face it, he's cute, I kept my expression serious, and smacked his hand, "No, don't throw food!"  The giggle stopped abruptly, and instead, a piercing shriek of a cry came out.  He was mad, and he picked up yet another cracker.  Our eyes locked again, another round of "No, no." and then the wait.... who would win this battle?  I knew I'd win the war, because it is my job to win these wars, but how many battles would have to be fought first? How many animal crackers would have to be sacrificed for the cause? Ha ha ha.  So, we went a number of rounds, and finally, he put the animal cracker on the tray instead of throwing it.  Victory!  Until today, when he threw veggies all over the floor at lunch time.  So, another battle, followed by him picking up the ones off the floor.  Such is the life with a toddler.  The only way to win the battle is consistency.  I have to tell the other kids not to laugh when he does it, to not encourage it, and I can't just "pick my battles" with that, because if I let him get away with it once, I can kiss any progress goodbye.  It is a constant "on" if I want to teach him to change his behavior.  Its for his good, though, and that motivates me to stay on it.  The same is true with so many issues; staying in their seat in a restaurant, not running or yelling in the store, etc.   Is it tiresome? Absolutely.  Is it worth it? Most definitely! It may take a few weeks, months, or years, but when someone comes up to you and compliments you on their behavior, it is the equivalent of a million "Good jobs!".