Expectations

   Anyone who knows me, knows that I tend to be a perfectionist.  That tends to cause a lot of stress when things aren't "perfect".  I get frustrated with myself, with my kids, with life in general.  Well, resting/nap time today was anything but restful because my 2 and 4 year old decided that naps were just not happening.  I had to discipline them, continue going into their rooms and taking toys away, and just having a generally stressful span of time.  Following that, I was going over some schoolwork with my 8 year old, that he wasn't getting, and I was frustrated because I didn't know how to communicate it differently to him so that he would understand the concept.  Anyway, he finished up his paper and went outside to play, and immediately started knocking on a window.  I got instantly irritated, went over to the window and shook my head no.  He cheerfully parrots my action of shaking the head "no", mouths the word "no", and gives me a thumbs up and a grin, then pedals his bike off around the porch.  I should've just let his joyful spirit infect me, but instead, I turned around and ranted to my mom, "Why in the world would he start knocking on the window when he knows the baby is sleeping?"  She shrugs, calmly (as is her wonderful nature), and says, "You'd have to ask him that question."  Grrr, not good enough.  I go on, "I have such smart kids, but I swear that they just don't think sometimes!!" She looked at me, and said, "You get frustrated with them for things that are just kids being kids.  You expect them to think and act older, more mature, than they are.  Kids forget, don't think the way we do, and as long as you expect them to, you will be stressed."  That's all that was said at that point.  However, it was not a done deal inside of me, because her statement bothered me.  Should I not expect to have my kids obey me?  When I've told them every day for the last several years that when its "quiet time", they need to be quiet, should I not expect them to remember that?  So, I took it to God in prayer, and asked Him that very question.  The thought that I had, that I believe was from God, stopped me in my tracks.  I should have the same expectations in my kids that God has in me - none.  How many times does the Bible tell us how we are to behave? I know right from wrong, I shouldn't get angry or yell at anyone, I should forgive people right away and not allow offense to settle inside of me, and yet, I struggle with those things, and many other sins.  Is God disappointed in me every time I mess up?  Absolutely not!  He never has an expectation on me to perform a certain way.  There are consequences to wrong choices, struggles that come from taking a wrong path, and there are losses of blessings that He wanted to give me, but He is never angry or disappointed in me.  He lovingly chastens me, reiterates His will, the right way, and then allows me to make my choice.  What right do I have, then, to have expectations in my children, or anyone else?  None. That was, and is, a sobering thought.   It is also something that I am totally incapable of doing.  I told God that I choose to lay down my right to expect anything from people, especially my kids.  I need His help to live that out, and it will take daily; uh, let's be honest, minute by minute prayer and dependence on Him to walk that out, but that is my heart's desire.  I want to love and nurture my kids, not set high expectations upon them that they can't meet, only to make them feel inadequate.  That would be an epic failure on my part, and a devastation to their sweet little spirits.